Lessons Learned...

We have just finished a sound check in Champaign, IL (John Vogl so graciously pointed out that I spelled the city like the sparkling wine in the last post) and I feel I must convey to you a very important lesson I have just learned.  On only our second day of tour, I have just been through a most embarrassing situation involving bathroom etiquette.  Mom, if you wish to turn away now, I cannot fault you.  

As I was doing my business on la toilette (french makes it refined, right?) I had the unfortunate pleasure of being walked in on.  Initially, I felt guilty for putting a complete stranger through the terror of witnessing what is never spoken of, and always preformed behind closed doors. However, he walked in so quickly that a shout of warning would have come far too late.  Instead, with my dignity completely stolen away from me by this no-knocking, intrusive mouth breather, all I could muster was, "Sorry, I thought I locked the door.
What followed next was a punishment that far outweighed the crime.  In either a fit of rage, or from just plain shock, he left the door wide open and walked away.  Now, this was not the typical restroom reserved for only one gender, but a single water closet that opened into a well trafficked hallway just off the main room.  Oh, the horror I endured!  What was I supposed to do?  I have rehearsed other scenarios in my head a thousand times over, like, "What if that pretty girl at the bar decides to make her way toward me?"  But this?  Not once have I mentally envisioned this truly worst case scenario.  All could do at the moment was hope that another passerby would not make worse an already agonizing life experience.  In the end I did the only thing any respectable gentleman would do, I took the time to clean myself up and very cooly pulled up my jeans and closed the door myself.  After all, we are on a 15 day trip, and the last thing I need is another dirty pair of underwear.

After washing my hands I checked the door that I could have sworn I locked not five minutes earlier to find that I had indeed locked it.  The doorknob was broken, and although I locked the inside handle, the outside failed to obey in the same mannor.  So, dear reader, the lesson to be learned is, always check both sides of a door when occupying a single bathroom in a busy club.